Okay, so I'm just writing a little follow up to the last post.
Firstly, a huge thank you to the people that emailed me after the last post, it was really nice of you.
I want to say, to those people that did comment however often, I wasn't trying to say anyone didn't comment enough, I really wasn't.
So yeah, I'm gonna explain my reasons a bit more so you guys can understand why I've done what I have. I'm still working on being healthy emotionally. I haven't talked about it here at all really, but for a lot of my life, even before I came out, I've been pretty heavily and constantly emotionally abused. So my self-esteem is pretty bad, and it's something I'm working on being better, but I'm still not there yet. And normally, I can apply perspective to however many comments I have, but when I'm in a really down place generally, when I'm having one of those days, it's just one extra little thing to add to the rest that a post may have not had as many comments as another, and when I'm close to falling apart already, I don't need that. This is the main reason the comments are turned off. I was in one of those places when I made the decision to turn them off, and after I was feeling better I did reconsider it, and I have decided it's probably not a good idea at the moment.
I normally don't talk about this here, because I don't think it really helps me deal with it, and I don't want people's pity or anything, but I feel like I should fully explain my reasons to you guys, the people that take the time to read this, so you can hopefully understand that this isn't necessarily a decision I wanted to make, because I do enjoy hearing what you guys say about what I think. But for my own health and sanity, I do feel that I need to do this for a while.
It is something I will have under a kind of constant re-evaluation. I do want to turn them back on, and when I feel I'm up to having them back, they will be back. But for now, I just don't feel I can.
I do still have my email so people that want to can contact me.
I really enjoy blogging, and I don't want to stop. And I feel I can't continue with comments on. I want to keep doing this, I really enjoy it, so the comments had to go. I'm not leaving.
I also feel like I kinda need to defend my comparison between my comments and views. A view can be someone accidentally clicking on my link on someone else's blog, whereas a comment is someone who has read a post, though about it, and taken the time to respond. That's why I made the comparison in the first place.
Also, already existing comments are still there, just hidden, so when I turn them back on they'll show up again, they haven't been deleted or anything.
Okay, hopefully that's the last on this until I choose to put them back.
Laters,
Joshua.