Yay National!

Okay, so my politics may be quite liberal, but I'm honestly glad that the National Party got in, for one reason.

Those hippie bastards Labour were going to ban incandescent light bulbs. Instead, the entire country was going to be forced to use those horrible, squiggly, fluorescent eco-bulbs. Ick. I hate eco-bulbs. Don't get me wrong, I'm in favour of measures to lower carbon output etc, but those bulbs are not one I think should ever be resorted to. Ever.

Firstly, no matter how fabulous my skin happens to look, it looks horrid under fluorescent light.

Secondly, the light they put out is really creepy and sterile. We have one in our bathroom (it was already there when we moved in), and it will light up the entire room (and the corridor outside if the door's open) with no shadows at all.*shudder*

Ooh, I'm almost at 4k hits too. Yay!

Oh, I linked a couple of blogs that I've been meaning to link for a while. But I'm not going to link them here, because I don't know how lol.

Laters,
Joshua.

Lovegame

"Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick".

OMG! This song just got released as a single in NZ (I have her CD). I love Lady Gaga's music (my fave song is Paparazzi), and this one makes me lol.

Okay, so I haven't posted in a few days, because I haven't really had anything to post about. But this song's release is so important I felt it deserved a post. And Mirrorboy complained in my comments that he hadn't heard from me in a while. Take a lesson from this, readers. Complain about something to me, and if I can be bothered, I'll do something about it.

I also added a list of links of YouTube channel's I watch. It's under my list of blog links. In the sidebar.

Okay, that's it for tonight.

Laters,
Joshua.

Valentines Day

Is officially over now. Yay! I hate being alone on Valentines day. Or, even better, spending it with my parents.

But, I was in The Warehouse (it's a big NZ shop. loads of cheap stuff. I only go there for the CD's), and I walked past this really cute guy going in the opposite direction. I fully checked him out, like totally obviously, and as he walked past I looked back (y'know, to check out his butt), and he looked back too! But then I made a total dick of myself (not the good kind of dick either), 'cause as I was doing my casually cool look back, I tripped over something (it's a very messy shop). It was still awesome tho =D.

Anywho, I'd better go to bed (my battery is running out lol).

Laters,
Joshua.

Update: Oh, I didn't make it clear, he didn't work there. Just some random lol.

If You Seek Amy

First off, isn't Mirrorboy just, like, the most amazing person ever? Seriously, how well he's handling his situation has inspired me. I'm going back to school on Monday with brand new baditude.

Matt and AJ have a brand new blog, about music. It's linked in my sidebar.

My title's Britney's latest single (if you ask Britney who, then I may have to ask you to leave). I heard that over in the USA it's been causing major controversy over what the title sounds very similar to. When I first listened to this song, I never even noticed. Has anyone else noticed how people who are against what they call profanities seem to see them everywhere?

Anywho, I'd better go before I start another rant.

Laters,
Joshua.

Ugh

I mentioned the possibility of not going to school to my mum today. Best. Idea. Ever. I got the upset look and "I hope you realise how much I've given up so you can go to this school". I responded with "fuck's sake, I have enough to deal with without taking this guilt crap from you" (another great idea). She immediately started interrogating me about school, and whether I was having any problems. Yay, fun fun.

Thanks to all the people who commented to give me advice last time I posted about this. I really appreciate it.

Oh well, I'd better go to sleep soon.

Laters,
Joshua.

3000 views

Just to let y'all know I hit 3000.

Laters,
Joshua.

School

So, I was off school sick today. But I've been wondering lately whether it's working out though. It just feels so much like my old school. I'm starting to question if I really need to stay there to do what I want with my life.

But I feel like I'll be letting my family down. I've always had a good academic record, and there hasn't really been a point before where I have actually considered not doing some kind of tertiary education.

However, I doubt my academic record will be good this year. But I just don't know what to do.

Laters,
Joshua.

Meh

I'm bored. (Warning: rant ahead. Cos I haven't had one in a while).

Oh, and a huge screw you to the guy who called Mirrorboy a whinging bore. Honestly, you must have never been through anything like Mboy is, or you would understand. Personally, I don't think he complains anywhere near enough. It pisses me off that you actually have the nerve to say something like this to him. Mirrorboy's a better person than you'll ever be.

(Okay, it's safe now).

Geez, pissed off and tired aren't a good combo lol. I should probably go to sleep now.

Laters,
Joshua.

Holy Diver

I saw this news story on the MSN page. Basically, a koala climbed into a bucket of water. Here's a couple of pics.





Now, I dunno about you guys, but koalas scare me. Seriously. They look kinda cute and cuddly, but then you look into the eyes. Those beady, soulless pits. *Shudder*.

Speaking of koalas (which are Australian), I wanna say hey to my favourite Australian blogger, Mirrorboy. I hope school gets better for you.

Oh, and the song in the title is by a guy called Dio. He's the guy that was in Black Sabbath when Ozzy was in rehab. But this is a song from his solo album, also called Holy Diver, which rocks.

Laters,
Joshua.

Double Orientated

So, first day of school down.

I got up nice and early this morning,to get there at 9am like I had been told all new students were supposed to. It turned out that actually only the year 9's and 13's were supposed to. I didn't have to be there till 1:30pm. I found this out after sitting through an hour and a half long assembly. On a concrete seat. So, I decided I might as well stay for the day and just do the form class orientation stuff. Unfortunately this also included interval and lunch.

So, at 1:30pm I went to the thing for the new students, and I got another orientation. I still don't know when my classes are (no timetable yet), and what stationary I need for them, but I will be able to find them when I do find out.

Laters,
Joshua.

Joy Ride

So, first day of school tomorrow. I'm kinda looking forward to it.

The song in the title is the fourth track on The Killers latest album. And, as TheJoeFrom1993 said, it sounds like something that would be played on a gay cruise. It's totally inconsistent with the rest of the album, which doesn't really.

Laters,
Joshua.

2000 Views

So, after today's post I decided to check analytics. It seems I made 2000 views without noticing it. I should probably do something special, but meh, I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow. If you're lucky.

Laters,
Joshua.

Update: I added a little thingy in the sidebar called 5 bestest countries. It's the top 5 countries to view me.

Update Deux: I found out who is responsible for my hit boost. Thanks KissTony!

Mirrorboy's Post

This one's for you, Mirrorboy.


So, I wasn't going to post tonight, but I just read Mboy's latest post. And my heart broke. So, I'm going to write about how I came to leave my old school, in the hope that people that read this won't repeat my mistakes.

I was never very social to begin with at secondary-school. I never had many friends and none of them were very good friends. I had low self-confidence, and I hated my body. Even before I was outed, I was struggling with being stressed and depressed a lot. My school grades were suffering, and i was quite repressed.

Then, I fell in love with the guy who was a best friend to me (even though I wasn't his). When I was around him, nothing else mattered. When I was depressed, I could never remember the good times. I even cut myself once (just the once, never again since). My cat died (she was only 2). When I was around him though, none of this mattered. He was like a drug (but far better than any I've ever tried).

But one day, I was depressed about something so minor I can't even remember what it was. I decided to ruin my already shitty life completely. So I decided to do the worst thing I could think of.
I decided to tell him I loved him.
And that I was into guys (I knew he was a homophobe).
So, I told him by txt message.

I expected him to be angry with me, to yell at me the next day at school. But what happened was far worse.

I went to school the next day, feeling as though a weight was off my shoulders. It was all finally in the open.

But when I got there, he was distant (I later learned that he was trying to ignore me). There was no big confrontation, my secret wasn't out. And what I had felt around him, just the utter feeling of amazingness, was gone. It was replaced by this cold, hard feeling.

I later learned that he had, in fact told people. I just didn't find out till one of them actually asked me.

Then, when I finally was out properly, all of the people I had thought were my friends deserted me.

I felt alone. I withdrew into myself so much I never managed to have any of the possible friendships I could of had with people who were more accepting. And, the loneliness made my depression worse.

Then the year ended. I came back with a better attitude, but I really hadn't dealt with any of my own issues. My resolve (which was weak to begin with) crumbled.

I began skipping days of school by telling my mum I felt sick. In most of my classes I wouldn't do any work on those days I did go.

At the end of the first term, it got too much for me. I went home crying half way through the last day (not for the first time that year). I was adamant I wouldn't go back. I couldn't physically or mentally even bring myself to contemplate returning.

That was last year. There isn't really much else to tell about it. The only other significant event that year (in my personal life) was making this blog.

But I'm going back to school this year. It will be a new school and a fresh start. And I'm looking forward to finally being able to be myself in public completely. No more self-repression. i feel good about it.


So, that was a bit of a downer. Didn't mean it to be, guess it just came out that way. Mirrorboy, you're not alone, so talk to us when you're down. We are here for you.
And don't let the haters get you down, none of them are worth it. Because with their small-mindedness, they miss out on knowing one of the best people I have had the fortune to read about since I started reading blogs.

Laters,
Joshua.